It's 11:00pm and I turn on the computer. I sign on half hoping you will be
here and half hoping you won't. What started as a mild flirtation has developed into a
full blown online affair. I feel ashamed and guilty but I just can't bring myself to put
an end to it. My marriage hasn't been good for months now. We have fallen into a rut and I
don't know how to get out. John has been working alot and I guess I feel neglected. I know
that's not an excuse but it's how I came to be online. And I guess that's how I came to
meet you. I remember the night we first met. <smiles> John was away on business
again and I couldn't sleep. I had decided to cruise the chatrooms. I ended up in a trivia
room where the subject seemed to be books. Being a voracious reader I knew quite a few of
the answers. You were impressed and started to flirt. I was flattered and responded. We
took our conversation to an instant message and ended up talking the entire night. We
found that we had so much in common and I felt a bond with you that first night.
We talked twice a week after that when John was away. Then we started talking
when John was at work. You made me feel special and appreciated, something I felt was
missing in my marriage. I love John very much but things are not the same as they once
were. Sometimes I think he is seeing another woman, he often seems preoccupied and
distant. Maybe it's my own guilt. He says he knows I'm not happy and he asks what he can
do to help. I don't know what to say to him. He hasn't asked if there is anyone else and I
don't know how to answer if he does. But for now, we have out time together which has
become so important to me. We haven't said the words but in my heart I feel that this is
love. You know me better than anyone ever has. You have awoken in me something I thought
was dead. I always thought cyber sex was silly and pointless but with you I feel as if we
are really together, as one. Our last encounter left me both satisfied and yearning for so
much more. I can almost feel your body against mine, our kisses both tender and
passionate. I imagine
your mouth on my breasts, kissing, sucking making a feast of them. I long for the day when
we can be together for real and I can feel your mouth all over my body. I want you inside
me so bad sometimes, it's an ache that won't go away.
You just signed on and excitement fills me. You instant message me and tell
me that we need to talk, seriously. You ask if you may call me, you need to hear my voice.
We had decided to keep this strictly online so your request startles me. I agree and give
you my number. I am shaking so badly I almost drop the reciever when I answer.
Your voice is so deep and sexy, similar to Johns but huskier.
"We need to meet Lynn, I can't take any more of this online nonsense."
I am stunned.
"I want to Nick but I can't. This wasn't part of the deal."
"Screw the deal Lynn. I want to see you, touch you, make love to you."
I am crying now, I'm torn between my life with John and this overwhelming
feeling I have for you. You hear me crying and you try to calm me.
"Lynn, I love you and I know you feel something for me. Right or wrong, we
have to deal with it. I need you baby."
It goes against everything I believe in but I agree to meet you. You had told
me you were in another state so it shocks me when you ask to meet me in a hotel half an
hour away. This is crazy and stupid and reckless but I'm past caring. I need to see you
too. I drive to the hotel and go to the room you said you would be in. I knock and you
answer the door right away. The room is dark except for a few candles and I can't see
anything but an outline of your body.
"Come in Lynn."
I walk into the room and we fall into each others arms. We kiss like lovers
who have been apart forever. There is something both new and familiar about this and I
pause for a second. I pull back and turn on the light.
"Yes Lynn, it's me."
My head is spinning. I sit down on the bed because I'm not sure my legs will
support me. I am totally bewildered. I stare at John like he is a stranger. He is looking
at me with so much love in his eyes. I can't believe he isn't angry with me. This isn't
making any sense to me. He senses my confusion and moves to sit by me on the bed.
"Lynn, I know you haven't been happy with me for a long time. I was working long
hours and not giving you the attention you needed. I tried to think of something that
would bring us back together again. I saw an opportunity and I took it. I think deep down
in your heart you knew it was me."
I thought about all that had gone between us and yes I think deep down I did
"Oh John, how could I love anyone else the way I love you?"
We take our clothes off and make love with a new understanding of each
other. You kiss me with new found tenderness. As you kiss your way down to my breasts, I
replay our online conversations in my head. Of course it had to be you, no one has ever
known me the way you do. You lick and suck my nipples like a starving man. I run my hands
all over your body. So hard and hot and familiar. I drink in your smell. You work your way
down my stomach to my pussy. Butterfly kisses at first. Thn you spread my lips and devour
me. You lick and nibble my clit til I think I can't take anymore, then you plunge your
tongue inside me and my orgasm lifts my hips off the bed. Before I recover you move up and
slide your throbbing cock inside me. You stop for a moment, buried to the hilt and look
into my eyes.
"I love you Lynn."
Then you start thrusting hard and fast and it's better than it's ever been.
All too fast we both come, sweating and moaning and finally collapsing together. We make
love all that night falling asleep in each others arms. My final thought is that I won't
be needing my online lover anymore because he was right here all the time.