Diary of My First Orgasm
Things were getting a little hot under the
comforter because it was early September, but I wanted to continue and see
if something might happen. I
pushed the covers aside, slid out of my nightie, and tossed it to the
floor by the bed. Having only
recently entered puberty, I could easily see my vulva by tipping my hips
up a bit and I figured I'd turn on the light to get a better view of what
I was doing. Dimming the light, I laid back in bed on top of the sheets,
this time experiencing a whole new set of feelings and joyous freedom as
the cool air blowing through the open window caressed my exposed, naked
body. I savored those
feelings for a few minutes before slowly spreading my legs.
My pelvis tingled when the fresh air wafted over my crotch and
newly emerging pubic hair. It
felt incredibly sexy, much unlike anything I had experienced before.
The whole situation was kind of risky too, since my parents don't
believe in locks on bedroom doors.
I ran my hands lightly over my body for a couple
of minutes, and my heart rate jumped and my breathing deepened. Eventually I reached down between my legs again and was
astounded to find that my inner and outer lips had moved away from each
other and the entire center area was wet.
A closer look down there revealed a wide-open column of dampness
taking on a darker pink color, almost red.
The bedroom gradually filled with the mild scent of my newly
discovered womanhood. Once
again I slid my hand back to my clitoris and vulva, fingers moving up and
down and in circles.
Everything was definitely feeling different now.
At some point I realized my hand was moving faster as the minutes
ticked on. The tingling and
heaviness in my pelvis became close to unbearable as my heart raced and I
panted heavily. I got a
little scared and wondered if this was actually an orgasm or if I was
hurting myself somehow. I
would have stopped, but the girl at school said things would happen this
way. Her advice was to just
keep going and massaging myself no matter what.
The muscles in my body tensed as I manipulated my
clitoris with increasing speed and pressure, my entire arm cycling up and
down all the way to the shoulder. My
other hand wandered down to my vaginal opening and found a soft mound of
twitching, warm flesh, dripping with lubrication.
I moved two fingers of that hand lightly against the orifice, in
synch with the other hand working my clit. This heightened the intensity
to a new level and for the first time I began to realize this is what
orgasms are all about, even though I had no idea of what was about to
happen. Instinctively I
removed the one hand from my vaginal opening and quickened the action on
my clitoris with the other while applying more pressure, really
concentrating on that single erect organ of sensitive tissue sticking out
from my crotch.
Just as it seemed the feelings could not become
any more intense, everything broke loose all at once.
My nipples hardened and pointed outward toward the ceiling.
My buttock and hip muscles flexed in a manner that spread my legs
apart so the sides of my knees practically touched the bed covers below.
My back arched and I raised my butt slightly off the bed.
An intense combination of warmth and electricity enveloped me, as
the whole area between my hips seemed to fill up and was about to explode.
I started hyperventilating.
This was IT, I thought, while a big smile went
across my face. I moaned and
my eyes slowly closed because I wanted to feel every sensation of the
moment while my arm and hand moved as a single unit with only one purpose
in mind. I was truly finding
out what an orgasm feels like, or so I thought.
But even this didn't prepare me for what happened next.
Totally without warning or any anticipation on my
part, my heart began slamming away, each beat visibly moving my chest
along with an audible rush of blood pumping through the vessels in my
ears. My whole body went
rigid and straight as a board. Only
my feet, shoulders and head were in contact with the mattress --
everything in between was up off the bed and my butt cheeks hovered about
a foot in the air. My rib cage expanded with every labored gasp and I shrieked
when convulsions gripped my pelvic region and quickly traveled outward to
rock my entire being. Hips
bucking uncontrollably with each contraction, I shot a few drops of some
clear fluid which landed on my inner right thigh about halfway to the knee
and dripped down to the back of my leg.
I did not want it to end. My arm stroked frantically and the convulsions kept up for
what must have been over a minute. The
bed shook with each violent hip thrust and there was a good amount of
moaning coming from deep within my throat.
I didn't worry too much about who might hear me and assumed
everyone was asleep or watching television.
Of course, the contractions finally weakened as my orgasm subsided. I lay there in a sweating heap, panting, marveling at what
just happened. I was totally
overcome by a mix of exhaustion and exhilaration.
A voice on the other side of the door startled me.
"Jamie, are you all right?"
Oh God! My
mother heard me! I sprang up,
sitting on the edge of the bed. "Uh,
yeah Mom! I'm okay, I'm okay,
I'm fine." I was
light-headed and still seeing stars when the doorknob moved.
I hopped up and threw myself against the door. "Everything's fine Mom, you don't have to come in!"
She said okay and walked back to her room.
That was way too close, and it really scared me.
No more masturbating, I thought as I shut off the light.
It isn't worth it. My
mother would die if she found out, and I would too.
I stumbled back to my bed, collapsed onto it, and immediately fell
The bright morning sun awakened me.
I felt groggy but strangely at piece, then I remembered why.
Mmmmmmmm, nice feeling! The
covers were over me too, and I figured I woke up sometime during the night
and pulled them on. Reaching
down to the floor for my nightie, I felt the rug.
Looking up wearily, I saw it neatly draped over the chair in front
of my vanity. Over the
chair!? Mom was in here!! What
did she see? My nightie on
the floor made it obvious I fell asleep in the nude.
I got this horrible sinking feeling in my stomach and a kind of
burning around my face and ears, with dizziness setting in a few seconds
later. I was never this
embarrassed in my life! I
took my robe off the hook on the back of my bedroom door, wrapped it
around me and took a deep breath. Have
to face Mom and think up some kind of excuse.
Mom was downstairs in the kitchen when I wandered
in nonchalantly. She said
good morning and asked if I'd like pancakes for breakfast, and I said that
was fine. She didn't mention
anything unusual or act strangely in any way.
That had me wondering, so after an uncomfortable silence which
seemed to last forever, I asked, "Mom, were you in my room anytime
before I woke up?"
She answered, "Honey, I was a little worried
this morning and thought I should check.
When I looked in, I didn't want your father or your brother seeing
you that way so I covered you."
We stood there just staring at each other, neither
of us really knowing what to say. My
throat tightened and tears welled up in my eyes before I lost it entirely
and broke down in sobs. As I
buried my face in my hands, Mom pulled me to her and gave me a long hug. "Ssshhhh, don't worry, everything's fine," she
I kept sobbing.
"Mom, I feel so horrible!
I didn't mean to fall asleep like that, don't be mad at me.
I'm ashamed of myself! Don't
think I'm bad or something, okay? Please?"
She sat me down and took a chair beside me.
"Honey, look, when girls get to be your age, they do certain
things when they're alone because they need to sometimes.
They touch themselves in a very special way on some very private
parts of their bodies to relieve these strong feelings we all get.
Do you know what kind of touching I might be talking about?"
Still looking down, avoiding her gaze, I nodded
Mom continued, "There's nothing wrong with
doing that, just so you know. I
mean, there have even been times when I did it."
I looked at her with amazed, bloodshot eyes. She asked, "Is that what you were doing last night,
A few seconds went by.
I nodded and began crying again, only this time it was more from
relief than embarrassment. I
began to explain between sobs, "Some girls at school...yesterday...we
were all...talking about..."
Mom hugged me again.
"You're becoming a young woman, Jamie. You get these feelings, and that's part of growing up.
Sometimes you have to deal with them on your own.
It's certainly better than letting a boy give you a disease or get
you pregnant. Especially at
I said, "Well, no more for me.
I won't do it again. Promise."
She retorted, "Oh yes you will.
I know you will. Especially after what you felt last night."
Feigning puzzlement, I asked, "What do you
"I heard you, dear.
Don't worry, no one else did."
Then she added with a little giggle and a sly grin, "Must have
been a good one, huh?"
That got me laughing a little and I sniffed hard.
"Yeah, it was more than anything I expected."
She asked, "You mean it was your first?"
I said yes, then she just smiled and got this glassy look in her
eyes like she was going to cry too. Now
I know why, although at the time I couldn't figure that out.
She asked me to make a promise, one that I CAN keep.
"Promise me that when your father and brother are home, you'll keep the noise down, okay?" We both had a good laugh with that one. I answered yes, then quickly added, "There won't be a need to keep anything down because I'm not doing it again." Mom just smiled and shook her head.
Well, about a week after that first scary
experience, I resumed masturbating as my mother predicted I would. Since then, I have continued to do it, on average, two or
three times a day, often with multiple orgasms.
It just feels too good!
A few years have passed since then.
Mom and I have had many discussions about sex, guys, and
masturbation. She still
masturbates ("Tell your father and I'll kill you!") even though
she loves Dad and says he keeps her happy in bed.
Sometimes, she told me, you just have to give yourself a little
quality time alone. We
discussed techniques, multiple orgasms, ways to make it feel better and
fun uses for a showerhead. Sometimes
I don't even close the bedroom door when I have to masturbate and Mom is
the only one home, although she's not quite so liberal to do the same when
I'm around. On my 15th
birthday she gave me an extra present, a 'little personal secret between
us' -- an electric plug-in vibrator with different attachments, two of
which are obviously insertable. Mom
explained that the battery models break easily because they don't hold up
to heavy use (wink) and all those batteries would get awfully expensive
At 16, I lost my virginity to a guy I really liked
a lot, and never regretted it. During
our very first intercourse I had an incredibly wild orgasm which, I'm
sure, was due to all the 'practice' I did alone.
If I didn't keep myself satisfied through masturbation before that
time in my life, I know I would have gotten involved in sex at an earlier
age before I was ready.
I just want to say, "Thanks Mom."