Anatomical
Musings on Female
Ejaculation and the G-Spot
According to The New Good
Vibrations Guide to Sex by Cathy Winks and Anne Semans (which I highly
recommend), the G-spot, anatomically, is the area beneath the urethral
sponge. This might at least partially explain its role in what is often
called "female ejaculation." It also may shed light on why
G-spot stimulation makes some women feel as if they have to urinate when
they really don't (several studies HAVE shown that female ejaculate is NOT
urine). If you're interested in learning more about this topic you might
consider renting the films How to Female Ejaculate and Sluts and
Goddesses. Still, it should be pointed out that female ejaculation is NOT
a universal response to G-spot stimulation and orgasm; even among women
who regularly enjoy G-spot orgasms, it's still pretty rare.
For Men...
Many
of these G-spot techniques will work in a similar fashion on men when
performed anally. Men have what is called a "prostate gland,"
the stimulation of which can provoke and/or intensify orgasms. One may
stimulate the prostate gland with one or two fingers a few inches inside
the anus pressing towards the penis, which leaves the other hand free to
massage the penis itself. The prostate gland usually feels like a
little dome. Please see the latest edition of Jack Morin's book Anal
Pleasure and Health or The New Good Vibrations Guide to Sex by Cathy Winks
and Anne Semans for more information on prostate stimulation.
Safer Sex Choices
It is certainly true that you are much less likely
to pick up or transmit diseases from the activities this document
describes than you are from many other common sexual activities (such as
unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse). If you and your partner don't
wish to use gloves and one or both of you is possibly infectious, just be
aware that menstruation or the presence of cuts on your hands adds risk,
and washing your hands with hot water and anti-bacterial soap after
playing reduces risk. For absolute protection when playing with someone of
unknown HIV/STD status (and/or when YOU are of unknown HIV/STD status),
standard latex "examination" gloves can be used. Boxes of these
gloves may be purchased at many drug stores. Except in cases of powder
allergies it doesn't matter whether the gloves are powdered or not, but do
make sure you buy the size that fits you properly. Also, don't forget to
use plenty of water-based lube on the outside of your gloves, preferably
something without Nonoxynol-9 (by the way, if you want to see an erotic
film in which both lube and gloves are used with obvious skill and
comfort, rent Safe is Desire)
I've tried a lot of different products and have personally
settled on the following choices:
Water-Based Lube: I-D, without N-9
Latex Condoms: Kimono MicroThins, without N-9
Oral Barriers: Glyde "Lollyles"
Gloves: Standard Latex Examination Gloves, powdered
Lately I've been experimenting with the new silicone-based lubes, which
feel like oils but which have many of the desirable properties of
water-based lubes. I-D "Millenium" is a fine brand, as is Wet
"Platinum." Some women like the vaginal feel of silicone lubes
and some don't, so it's a matter of mutual preference; water-based lubes
without Nonoxynol-9 are still the most universally-accepted choice.
The Kimono MicroThins condoms taste fine for oral sex; certainly, they
taste better than powdered, unlubed condoms and those mint condoms. The
Glyde barriers, like all oral barriers, feel even better if you put a drop
of water-based lube on your partner's side before applying them. Some men
like to put a drop of water-based lube in the tip of a condom before
putting it on to increase sensation, but other men (especially those who
have been circumcised) don't notice a significant difference.
Making a Safer Sex Kit
Those ever-popular "hip packs" work well for this sort of thing.
You'll probably want to include a small bottle of water-based lube and latex
condoms, and depending on your personal safer sex standards may want to add
antiseptic towelettes, gloves, and Glyde barriers. You might also want to
pack a portable toothbrush and a travel-sized toothpaste tube in the front
pocket of your hip pack in case you end up staying overnight somewhere.
Getting
Safer Sex Supplies
My favorite places to order lube, toys, videos, and books are Toys in
Babeland (1-800-658-9119) and Good Vibrations (1-800-BUY-VIBE), and my
favorite place to get condoms and other safer sex supplies is The Rubber
Tree (1-888-792-TREE). If you want more information on safer sex or pointers
to other sex-positive resources, please refer to the Society for Human
Sexuality web page at http://www.sexuality.org/ or call SFSI at (415)
989-7374.
A
Final Comment
Ultimately, most sex is about pleasure and/or
intimacy rather than "technique," and if one's entire focus is
on "technique" rather than either of these things sex can often
lose some of its spark. In other words, this whole article should be taken
with a grain of salt; it has value only insofar as it inspires more
pleasure, passion, and joy in your life.
Happy loving!
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