Anatomical Musings on Female
Ejaculation and the G-Spot

According to The New Good Vibrations Guide to Sex by Cathy Winks and Anne Semans (which I highly recommend), the G-spot, anatomically, is the area beneath the urethral sponge. This might at least partially explain its role in what is often called "female ejaculation." It also may shed light on why G-spot stimulation makes some women feel as if they have to urinate when they really don't (several studies HAVE shown that female ejaculate is NOT urine). If you're interested in learning more about this topic you might consider renting the films How to Female Ejaculate and Sluts and Goddesses. Still, it should be pointed out that female ejaculation is NOT a universal response to G-spot stimulation and orgasm; even among women who regularly enjoy G-spot orgasms, it's still pretty rare.

For Men...

    Many of these G-spot techniques will work in a similar fashion on men when performed anally. Men have what is called a "prostate gland," the stimulation of which can provoke and/or intensify orgasms. One may stimulate the prostate gland with one or two fingers a few inches inside the anus pressing towards the penis, which leaves the other hand free to massage the penis itself. The prostate gland usually feels like a little dome. Please see the latest edition of Jack Morin's book Anal Pleasure and Health or The New Good Vibrations Guide to Sex by Cathy Winks and Anne Semans for more information on prostate stimulation.

Safer Sex Choices

      It is certainly true that you are much less likely to pick up or transmit diseases from the activities this document describes than you are from many other common sexual activities (such as unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse). If you and your partner don't wish to use gloves and one or both of you is possibly infectious, just be aware that menstruation or the presence of cuts on your hands adds risk, and washing your hands with hot water and anti-bacterial soap after playing reduces risk. For absolute protection when playing with someone of unknown HIV/STD status (and/or when YOU are of unknown HIV/STD status), standard latex "examination" gloves can be used. Boxes of these gloves may be purchased at many drug stores. Except in cases of powder allergies it doesn't matter whether the gloves are powdered or not, but do make sure you buy the size that fits you properly. Also, don't forget to use plenty of water-based lube on the outside of your gloves, preferably something without Nonoxynol-9 (by the way, if you want to see an erotic film in which both lube and gloves are used with obvious skill and comfort, rent Safe is Desire)


I've tried a lot of different products and have personally settled on the following choices:

Water-Based Lube: I-D, without N-9
Latex Condoms: Kimono MicroThins, without N-9
Oral Barriers: Glyde "Lollyles"
Gloves: Standard Latex Examination Gloves, powdered
Lately I've been experimenting with the new silicone-based lubes, which feel like oils but which have many of the desirable properties of water-based lubes. I-D "Millenium" is a fine brand, as is Wet "Platinum." Some women like the vaginal feel of silicone lubes and some don't, so it's a matter of mutual preference; water-based lubes without Nonoxynol-9 are still the most universally-accepted choice.
The Kimono MicroThins condoms taste fine for oral sex; certainly, they taste better than powdered, unlubed condoms and those mint condoms. The Glyde barriers, like all oral barriers, feel even better if you put a drop of water-based lube on your partner's side before applying them. Some men like to put a drop of water-based lube in the tip of a condom before putting it on to increase sensation, but other men (especially those who have been circumcised) don't notice a significant difference.

Making a Safer Sex Kit

     Those ever-popular "hip packs" work well for this sort of thing. You'll probably want to include a small bottle of water-based lube and latex condoms, and depending on your personal safer sex standards may want to add antiseptic towelettes, gloves, and Glyde barriers. You might also want to pack a portable toothbrush and a travel-sized toothpaste tube in the front pocket of your hip pack in case you end up staying overnight somewhere.

Getting Safer Sex Supplies

     My favorite places to order lube, toys, videos, and books are Toys in Babeland (1-800-658-9119) and Good Vibrations (1-800-BUY-VIBE), and my favorite place to get condoms and other safer sex supplies is The Rubber Tree (1-888-792-TREE). If you want more information on safer sex or pointers to other sex-positive resources, please refer to the Society for Human Sexuality web page at or call SFSI at (415) 989-7374.

A Final Comment

     Ultimately, most sex is about pleasure and/or intimacy rather than "technique," and if one's entire focus is on "technique" rather than either of these things sex can often lose some of its spark. In other words, this whole article should be taken with a grain of salt; it has value only insofar as it inspires more pleasure, passion, and joy in your life.
Happy loving!


Can you guess which orgasm was my favourite?

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Copyright 1998 Society for Human Sexuality. All rights reserved