Don't forget your rain gear!
G-Spot
Play
For me, having my first two fingers inside
someone I love is one of the most wonderfully intimate activities on the planet. With some
of my female lovers, this form of sex seems to have been enhanced through conscious
stimulation of the so-called "G-spot." Over time, several of my friends have
commented that it would be nice to write down some of the things that can help make G-spot
play fun, and this article is our collaborative result. But before getting started, let's
review the most important element of satisfying sex: good communication. Your partner will
know better than anyone else what feels good to her, so encourage her to talk to you and
listen to what she has to say. It should go without saying that every woman is different,
and that you should pay attention to what feels good for the unique person you are with.
A Preliminary: Preparing
Your Hands
If
you absolutely must have long fingernails for fashion reasons, then you'll
probably want to put cotton balls around them and don latex gloves before
doing any penetration. If you don't need your fingernails long, then go
ahead and clip them short before playing. Even if you have short
fingernails, you may wish to wear a glove on your "insertive"
hand for comfort or "peace of mind" reasons; see the "Safer
Sex Choices" section of this article for details.
For many women this type of vaginal penetration can
be physically and emotionally intense; it isn't the sort of play most
folks would want to leap into immediately after taking their clothes off.
If you think of sex as being like a feast, you should probably think of
the things this article will talk about as being the "main
course." So... Start out by kissing and stroking and teasing each
other until you two can't stand it any more (a word to the wise: many
women find that vaginal penetration and G-spot play feel especially good
after a lot of cunnilingus). When the two of you get to the point where a
little penetration starts to sound nice, grab your bottle of water-based
lube, apply it liberally to your "insertive" hand, and slowly
(teasingly?) insert your first two fingers into your lover's vagina.
At this point, many couples like to alternate between patterns such as
these:
Move your fingers in even circles all around the vagina, with your fingers
as far "in" as is comfortable for the receptive partner. It
generally feels best if you keep consistent, firm pressure along the entire
length of the fingers against the vaginal walls and if you keep the pressure
fairly constant while rotating (though you can give a LITTLE extra pressure
at 12 o'clock [towards her belly] as long as you don't break the steady
rotational rhythm). Stop rotating and rest your fingertips on the (often
slightly ridged) area of the vagina just behind the pubic bone and exert
pressure upwards, towards her belly. This is direct G-spot stimulation, and
it usually feels best if the fingers are subtly moving somehow. You can move
them in small, slow circles, or point the fingers more sharply upwards and
rock them forwards and back.
Embellishments
Some couples find it erotic and pleasurable when the insertive partner
thrusts his or her hand in and out in a simulated fucking style (and for an
extra thrill, possibly exerts pressure upwards when withdrawing to involve
her G-spot a little more). It might also feel good to her for you to use
your thumb to rub her clitoris while the first two fingers of your hand
rest, move in circles, rub her G-spot, or thrust in and out. Your non-insertive
hand can do an almost endlessly delicious variety of things. You might try:
Holding the "penetratee"
Gliding your hand all over her body
Depending on your mutual comfort levels with these sorts of things, you
might also experiment with one or more of the following:
Firmly grabbing
her hair while kissing her Holding her hands above her head Pinching her
nipples Penetrating or just massaging the outside of her anus (especially
if she's lying on her side and your other hand is gloved and lubed). You
can also lie down or crouch so that your head is next to hers and whisper
hot things in her ear (incorporating fantasies which you know your partner
enjoys into your verbal teasing and hot talk is almost always fun).
Passionate kissing is usually welcome, as is licking or sucking your
partner's nipples while she is being penetrated. Licking, kissing, or
sucking on your partner's clitoris might also feel good to her during
vaginal penetration. If safer sex precautions for oral sex are necessary,
you might try putting on a latex glove, slitting the glove up both sides,
and using the flap as an oral sex barrier while the rest of the glove
still serves as the barrier for your hand; if this doesn't work well, the
other option would be for your partner to hold a Glyde oral sex barrier in
place for you.
You and your
partner might find vaginal penetration and G-spot play to be more arousing
if she is somehow pleasuring you as you are pleasuring her; this can work
equally well for same-sex as for opposite-sex couples, though you might
have to do some experimenting to find the body positions that are most
comfortable for the two of you.
Most women
who have experienced both claim that it is easier to have multiple G-spot
orgasms than it is to have multiple clitoral orgasms. If an orgasm rears
its lovely head while you two are playing, try whispering some words of
encouragement (and perhaps ratchet up the intensity just a little bit),
but basically continue pleasuring through her orgasm, afterwards, and
possibly into a next one. As long as it still feels good what's the point
of stopping? There is often a "pyramid effect" with multiple
G-spot orgasms; each one makes the next one feel better, and makes almost
anything else sexual feel better too. However, as I said earlier everybody
is a little different, and quality is obviously more important than
quantity. By the way, in general it isn't a good idea to have a huge
ego/emotional stake in having (or "giving") orgasms or multiple
orgasms. Most sex educators believe it isn't helpful to get "goal
oriented" about something that's supposed to be fun.
Fisting
Some
women enjoy vaginal fisting (having all or most of their lover's hand in
their vagina). This is DEFINITELY a case where you should proceed only
with your partner's active and ongoing encouragement and within her
comfort level. If you two would like to give vaginal fisting a try, then
I'd recommend first reading Deborah Addington's book A Hand in the Bush:
The Fine Art of Vaginal Fisting. However, the basic technique is as
follows: with your hand palm up (and your lover on her back or on all
fours) bring your fingers and thumb together to form something that looks
like a duck bill. With massaging, and possibly gentle twisting motions,
slowly tease your hand into her vagina. If your anatomies allows it, once
you get past the third knuckles your fingers will start to gently and
naturally curve back to form a fist. The whole procedure takes time and
plenty of trust, but the women and men who can take a whole hand vaginally
or anally often claim that it leads them to transcendent, ecstatic altered
states (read Trust: The Handballing Book by Bert Herrman for a discussion
of anal fisting, if that is your area of interest). |
